Finding balance in my life after cancer. It takes practice …

Finding balance in my life after cancer

Balance!

I am constantly striving for it.

I often don’t get it right.

As a parent, partner, person.

With my health, sport, relationships, work.

It’s a priority, post cancer, but it’s also a learning process.

It’s not easy.

It often feels like something is out of whack in my life. I crave simplicity. But actually achieving it is proving difficult.

My energy is often too focused in one direction. So then I feel like the balls are about to fall. If I concentrate on family time, other priorities suffer. If I put effort into work, something else has to give. When I focus on myself, guilt rears its head. If I spend too much time with people, the introvert in me starts screaming. When I concentrate on training, I run out of time for other important things in my life.

It’s a constant juggle.

I know I’m not alone with this.

Too much of this, too little of that.

Which then stresses me out and makes me feel like I’m failing and spread too thin.

Post cancer, I am trying so hard not to fall back into the trap of my old, pre cancer ways.

I’m trying so hard to just keep things simple.

To not stress.

But it’s not what I’m used to.

Worrying has become my bad habit.

I don’t know the answer, but when things are out of whack, I’m learning that it often doesn’t take much to tip the balance back in the right direction.

I’m learning to find the little life hacks that help me feel more balanced again.

15 minutes on my own before breakfast to get my foot exercises done
A long cuddle
A short swim
An early morning hour to reply to those emails that are hanging over me
Saying no or rescheduling things that are making me feel time squeezed
Accepting mess and less than the best

I think it’s going to be a lifelong process, letting go of my high achieving tendencies. Learning that done is better than perfect. Accepting that I’m nearly 50 and shouldn’t be trying to beat my own athletic records any more.

That it’s ok to slow down.

Finding peace is a battle.

The irony of that sentence!

I’m trying.

Learning.

And allowing myself to cheat once in a while.

See! Those out of sight walking poles that make me look like I’m a slack line pro.

As cancer survivors, there are so many reasons to exercise