Why it’s not ‘just’ hair. How the little things can help cancer patients feel normal

During cancer treatmet, sometimes I chose to wear a wig. Other times I rocked bald.

Today, three years ago, this was me.

I was in the third week after my first FEC chemotherapy. The hardcore one. The red devil. I still have such vivid memories of that time. The first few days after treatment had been absolutely brutal — physically and emotionally. And terrifying, because I didn’t know when I would feel well again, or what “well” would even look like.

But I was surprised — and genuinely relieved — to discover that most of the time, I actually felt fairly normal. Weeks two and three, for me, were okay. Manageable. Life went on.

This surfy wig was my favourite during cancer treatment.

I could still live a nearly normal life, and most importantly, I could still exercise. Not like before — much more gently — but enough to help me feel like me. That sense of familiarity in my own body mattered more than I realised at the time.

Before starting chemotherapy, I made the decision to shave my head. I needed to choose when I would lose my long blonde hair. I needed it to happen on my terms, not in clumps on my pillow or in the shower. That choice alone gave me a surprising sense of control.

The wigs were fun. I tried a few. But in reality, they didn’t get much use. Most of the time I went bald or wore a soft cap or beanie — it was more comfortable and felt more like me. I never really felt the need to hide my bald head or blend into the background. I think I was so focused on keeping the kids okay and clinging onto some kind of normality that dealing with a wig just felt like too much. Plus, let’s be honest — wigs can be hot, itchy, and annoying.

This wig looks the most like me before cancer but weirdly, it was my least favourite

But here’s the thing: it’s not just about hair.

Looking back, I realise how much the little things mattered. Occasionally going out for dinner, putting on makeup, wearing something nice, and making myself look “healthy” for an evening gave me a huge lift. I was lucky that my eyelashes mostly hung on until the end. And I am so glad I had my eyebrows tattooed before starting chemo — highly recommend. It meant I still recognised my face when I looked in the mirror.

Cancer treatment can strip away so much of your identity so quickly. Hair, brows, lashes, nails — they might seem superficial, but they’re not. They’re tied to how we see ourselves and how we move through the world. Maintaining even a small sense of control over your appearance can protect confidence at a time when so much feels out of your hands.

I didn’t realise before cancer that it’s possible to feel okay — quite a lot of the time — even during chemo. That’s not to say it’s easy. It isn’t. But it’s often not as bleak as we imagine.

I’m convinced that keeping moving and eating well helped me “get away with it” as much as I did.

If you’re in the middle of chemo, or about to start, please feel free to reach out. I’m always happy to chat, share what helped me, and support you in getting prepared. X