Finding my way back to adventure after cancer: learning to feel alive again

Life is short, ladies. Life is short. After cancer it’s our time to say YES. Make the plan. Book the trip. Let’s go!

Three years after cancer treatment, I’m finally learning to trust my body again. And I’m discovering that feeling alive sometimes means being brave enough to do the things that scare you.

Today, I felt more scared and more alive than I have in a very long time.

And it made me realise something. Despite living in a beautiful, wild place, surrounded by mountains and endless opportunities for adventure, I rarely do anything genuinely new or outside my comfort zone these days.

Like most mums, my life is a constant juggle of family and work, with the added layer of an ageing parent living in another country. My time for exercise, friends and self-care is carefully carved out of an already busy schedule — and fiercely defended!

I’m pretty good at making time for the things I know I need. Getting outside, moving my body, seeing friends and doing the things that help me feel like me.

But trying something new? Taking a risk? Putting myself in a situation where I don't feel completely in control?

That’s a different story.

Three years after cancer: learning to trust my body again

Learning to surf after cancer. Every day I thank my body for what it lets me do!

It’s now three years since I finished cancer treatment, and I’m only just beginning to feel that I can properly trust my body again.

Rebuilding my physical strength and fitness has taken time. But rebuilding my confidence has been a whole different journey.

Cancer changes your relationship with your body. You can go from feeling strong, fit and capable to feeling as though your body has let you down. Suddenly, things you once took for granted can feel uncertain.

For me, getting back to exercise was about much more than regaining muscle or improving my fitness. It was about learning to trust my body again. To feel strong. To feel capable. To feel that my body belonged to me, rather than being something I needed to worry about.

And while I’ve made huge progress physically, I’ve realised that my adventurous spirit has taken a little longer to return.

Cancer was enough of a challenge, mentally and physically. For a long time, I didn’t feel the need to seek out extra challenges. I was scared of so many things, and staying within my comfort zone felt safe.

There’s nothing wrong with that. Sometimes, getting through treatment and finding your feet again takes everything you have.

But recently, I’ve felt a little glimmer of the old me coming back.

That part of me that wants to explore, push boundaries and discover what I’m capable of. The part that loves the mountains, the outdoors and the feeling of doing something that makes my heart beat a little faster.

And I’m determined to embrace it.

To create the opportunities. To stop waiting for the perfect moment. And, perhaps most importantly, to start saying YES.

Saying yes to something that scares me

Solo travel after cancer - there is nothing quite like it to make you feel strong and ALIVE again.

So here I am, indulging in a few days on a solo surf trip to Fuerteventura.

Completely out of my comfort zone.

The ocean scares the sh!t out of me. It’s powerful, unpredictable and definitely not my natural habitat. I’m far more comfortable on a mountain trail or a bike than I am trying to navigate waves.

But there’s something about being in the ocean that makes you feel wonderfully small. It reminds you that you’re part of something much bigger than yourself.

It’s wild. Natural. Powerful.

And it feels amazing.

In the last 24 hours, Fuerteventura has experienced the biggest waves the island has seen in more than a decade. I still can’t quite believe we went out in it.

And I really can’t believe I was actually surfing. Properly surfing!

I was scared. I was challenged. I had to trust myself, focus on what was happening around me and accept that I couldn’t control everything.

But I did it.

And I’m ridiculously proud of myself for being brave enough to try.

Not because I was the best surfer out there, or because I conquered some enormous wave. But because I showed up, stepped outside my comfort zone and did something that, not so long ago, I probably would have talked myself out of.

That feels like a big deal.

Life after cancer is about more than getting back to normal

When we talk about life after cancer, so much of the conversation focuses on recovery. Getting stronger. Managing fatigue. Returning to work. Finding a new normal.

All of those things matter enormously.

But what about the things that make us feel truly alive?

The adventures we dream about. The experiences we put off. The things we used to love but have lost the confidence to try again. The things we’ve never done but secretly wonder whether we could.

Recovery isn't necessarily about returning to the person you were before cancer. Perhaps it's also about discovering who you want to be now.

For me, exercise has been a huge part of that journey. It has helped me rebuild my strength, regain confidence and reconnect with my body. But I’m beginning to realise that I also want to use that strength for something more than maintaining my fitness.

I want to explore. To challenge myself. To make memories. To feel that delicious mix of nerves and excitement when I do something new.

And I know that everyone’s version of adventure will look different. It might be returning to a favourite sport, going for a walk somewhere new, booking a solo trip, trying a dance class or simply saying yes to something you would normally avoid.

It doesn't have to be extreme. It doesn't have to be physical. And it certainly doesn't have to involve the biggest waves in a decade!

It just has to mean something to you.

Turning 50 and remembering that we only get one go

Turning 50 has given me another little nudge to think about how I want to spend the years ahead.

There’s a quote that has stayed with me:

“We all have two lives. The second one begins the day you realise you only have one.”

Cancer has a way of making you acutely aware of how precious life is. But knowing that intellectually and actually living in a way that reflects it are two very different things.

It’s easy to get caught up in responsibilities, routines and the demands of everyday life. To tell ourselves we’ll do those things when we have more time, when we feel fitter, when we’re less tired or when we’re ready.

But perhaps we never feel completely ready.

Perhaps being brave isn't about waiting until we're no longer scared. Perhaps it's about acknowledging the fear, deciding something matters enough to try, and taking that first step anyway.

I’m not suddenly fearless. I suspect the ocean will always make me nervous, and I’m sure there will be plenty more things that push me outside my comfort zone.

But today, I feel proud. Grateful. And very, very alive.

Three years after cancer treatment, I’m finally starting to trust my body again — and I’m excited to discover where it might take me next.

So, here's my question for you: what makes you feel alive? And is there something you've been wanting to try, but have been putting off?

Maybe this is your little nudge to say yes.

Not tomorrow. Not when everything is perfect.

But now. ❤️